I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. I've always felt uncomfortable around the two of them. As daughters age and develop, Hugo Schwyzer argues, it's important for men to overcome their discomfort and continue to show affection. He's wobbly, and not aware of his surroundings; he walks into tables, falls out of bed. Their life is difficult and sad enough. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. So we went ahead with the trip. It's OK to be compassionate, but it's not OK for him to do some of the things he has done. I said we were leaving, that I just suddenly felt like being back home. He was semi violent when I was growing up ( would throw things, scream and rant, shove me/throw me down, held a pizza cutter up to my face in a blind rage once) and I know that a lot of his behavior is a result of his brain injury. I try to avoid him because every time he see's me, he points something out about me. Avoid open-ended visits with your parents. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). Heres what we know. Unwise!! I'll be talking to my great therapist when I get home, if I can get an appointment to see him. luckily, he's changed since then. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Nothing less than kind. I felt really uncomfortable and told him I wasn't sure about what was going on, but he kept trying to kiss on me. I don't feel that in any other situation. When I think about spending Christmas Eve with them, that horrible feeling appears between my legs, and I think, how can I betray my body and self by walking into a room with him? Sister walks naked around the house when parents are not around and this is extremely uncomfortable for me. I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. To this day he can't say anything nice to me. If you are a teen, and becoming more womanly, it is normal to not want attention from all men (specially your dad) and to only want attention from some men (generally your boyfriend). Like this wasn't particularly a surprise to her. Rachel,What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. If theres some kind of physical affection from your dad that you still like, emphasize that please dont kiss me anymore, but I still love it when you hug me, or whatever it is that you enjoy. But like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere. So i feel uncomfortable around my dad and sometimes i feel sexually uncomfortable idk why.he has never really done anything creepy or sexual except for this one incident but i may just be overracting. But she dropped it as soon as I did, which was within a couple of months. I don't know what started it but lately I've started feeling even worse about it. he just makes me so fucking uncomfortable. I'm so glad you have found someone who knows about this stuff and can help you through it. Boyfriend 24M does not want to use condoms, what do i do? I lost it, as quietly as I could, there on the deck. I have no memory of that -- no picture, anyway. Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. My father the most at that point. We recognize the responsibility that comes along with being the most well-known and trusted health information platform and we take that responsibility seriously by: 2005 - 2023 WebMD LLC. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. If you feel uncomfortable then that is already reason enough! With his help, I now at least feel pretty clear that I haven't been inventing this all these years. I do all kinds of visualizations to work against that, like I'm wearing underwear made out of iron or cement. Is that enough, too much, and whats ahead with COVID vaccines? Answer Rachel, What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. I was angry and crying and kicking -- I felt like there was something on top of me. My dad also refuses family counselling for other issues, so I doubt he would accept it for this particular issue. [] (1)Why do the Chinese dislike milk and milk products? My feeling was, if I can ignore this, I'm going to. For the first time in my life, my inner compass isn't pointing me anywhere. There are professionals that dedicate themselves to helping survivors like you and me. You dont have to explain anymore. What about sending a letter? But his job is finally to look out for me. Hi, yeah please please seek out counseling. The only time he ever talks to me is to put me down about something. I felt like I was flying into pieces. As to the larger issue, well, it's overwhelming and scary and makes one want to scream, but that's what therapy is for. I broke up with him after that. I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. He needs to repent, and sometimes that takes being brought low and being forced to face the terrible things that we have done for this to happen. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. Excellent and professional investigative services. It is making itself known to you by the uneasy feelings, memories and questions that are coming up. So he said "you are going to get it" or something like that i am translating this from another language, so after he said that he pulled the curtains to get me and saw me naked for a few seconds until i pulled back the curtain. Not even your parents. Also, and worst of all, I often feel in his presence this unwelcome warmth and kind of pulsing in my groin, like there's a lighthouse down there signaling, or an alarm, or a warning. Mr. Dearface held me and took care of me, and within an hour or so, I felt better. Whats weird is that none of us ever talk about it with anyone else. wheneber he touches me I want to throw up or cringe on the inside, and I hate him looking at me for too long as it gives me the creeps. In an ideal world, I could cross my legs around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie. RawConfessions user (Login required), Your Message (please type your comment here). What you are describing is completely inappropriate behaviour for him and you are 100% justified in feeling that something is wrong. He may feel a little hurt - it can sting when someone we love tells us they dont like how we express our affections. Teen Vogue may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. Even though he might make you uncomfortable, just know that he isn't going to do anything to you, so it won't hurt to relax a little. I think you should call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you can get here. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Associated Press articles: Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. But for the last 15 years or so (I'm 35 now) a cloud has been trailing me, and every couple of years or so it descends on me and demands my full attention, and then lets me go for a while. Any advice is appreciated. Female Friend feels uncomfortable around me (18M). When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. Will the United States be on the side of Israel in the last war? I am probbably overracting but that incident was very uncomfortable for me and i dont want to tell anyone because i dont want them to gey the wrong idea and i could never tell my dad he woyld be horrified. Which is best? Posted Nov 9, 2019 20:10 by anonymous When I mentioned all this to my editor, she told me she had a similar story of her own. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. I want to make everything all right, let it go. The good news is that you survived. While it may be too bad that you weren't used to it growing up it's great that you have a chance now to make up for some lost time! I sprayed some cold water on him akd he tried to take revenge but failed bc i was protected by the shower curtain. In eigth grade I had a boyfriend that I let come over to my house, but I had no intention of doing anything inappropriate. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. I don't talk to him on the phone either. He should be want whomever his daughter ends up with in life to be right for her and that he will be able to continue to provide her with safety, love, and security after he is gone. You paid for their horrible behavior then and you are paying for it now with the burden you have to carry. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. Through my teen years my father has made comments about my body, and whenever he hugs or touches me it goes a little too far for comfort. I feel bad for my dad. I know I shouldn't judge him because of his accident but it's so hard to be around his type of behavior. We all do. Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him he's done nothing wrong (if that's . I really believe that he will -- even before this happened, he seemed like a person who was partially dead. Am I Less Worthy Not Being From the Tribe of Ephraim? Before I was born my dad was in a severe car accident and had TBI (traumatic brain injury) and has other off behaviors as a result. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I woke up one morning in a strange, terrible state. By Nobody has the right to touch you when you dont want them to. I have always felt extremely uncomfortable around my dad. We went to my room and I wanted to play video games with him, but he kept touching on me, going in my pants. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. I'm helpless. You can love someone and still have it be the best choice for you to keep your distance from them. In deciding exactly how to manage your visit, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation. First of all, thank you for your brave, clear and detailed letter. I was leaving the house to go out, and my dad said something like, "That shirt looks nice on you," and something in his voice made this volcanic rage rise up in me. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". We knew it was risky, Mr. Dearface and I, but we decided to try it -- and we developed signals so I could get away if I needed to. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. So your therapist and I will probably agree on this: You may have to take some steps to distance yourself from your family while you work through this. i feel like hes waiting for me to fall asleep to sexually do sum to me, I know this is from years ago but as a confused teen wondering about my own uncomfortability with my father for the same reasons i feel a great ease and sorrow at knowing im not alone. Kicking -- i felt better feeling this way uncomfortable around him because of his surroundings ; walks... These years surroundings ; he walks into tables, falls out of nowhere picture... 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